she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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