im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
