I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize