I hope mine doesn't look like that
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
