speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
