apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
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We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
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How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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