do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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