My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Your dad touched me again.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
