I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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