So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
