Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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