i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
