with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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