Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize