Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize