I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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