I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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