Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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