WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She even gives head with a lisp.
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The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
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