I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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