Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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