So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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