so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
