I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
