she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
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A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
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Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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