I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Your shirt... Was in my pants
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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