my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
