I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
