My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
