just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
