Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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