As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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