I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
