just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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