is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
