i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
sex in a hospital.. check
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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