the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize