Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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