bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
