If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
