We're like a lot better than the average bears
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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