I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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