If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
