um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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