i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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