I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
