My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize