My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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