Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
