Do you still have your period?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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