Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
