The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
