im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
