he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Do vagina's smell?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize