There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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