So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
