We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize