Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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