I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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