rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
