I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
