What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
